FET #2 – Update

This FET is officially a go!

Lining looked great this morning and I should be starting PIO this week. My RE has to check which dates are available for the FET, but it will be either Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday of next week.

Fingers crossed for Monday!

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FET #2 – Second Baseline

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Well, today’s appointment did not go as expected.

It went way better.

Over the weekend, I had made my peace with the fact that this cycle was likely going to need to be cancelled. I even had a whole game plan ready:

  • Take Provera to induce a period.
  • Sign all the paperwork for IVF with PGS.
  • Do our mandatory phone consult with the embryologist.
  • Start stims on CD2.
  • Transfer my two remaining frosties 5 days after ER, while my new embryos are busy being tested and frozen.

Instead, my RE took a look at my lining and it looked great. It grew a little (7.1 to 8) but had the clear “triple stripe” they look for to make sure it’s implantation ready. She believes I likely had a clot that my body absorbed, even though I didn’t see anything come out. Because I had to stop my estrogen patches for 3 days, my ovaries took it as an invitation to start growing follicles (I have multiple small follicles on each ovary and at least two that are just under 10mm). I have to increase my patches tonight to 3 instead of 2, to prevent any further maturation, but I think these little follicles are actually helping me because thanks to them I’m producing natural estrogen, in addition to the artificial estrogen I’m receiving from the patches. As a result, this cycle is moving super fast (much faster than last cycle) and I’m going to be picking my transfer date on Monday!!! Woohoo!

Amendment 67 – Have you heard about this?

Today, someone sent me an article that terrified me. Scared the living daylights out of me. Made me want to hide under the covers and scream.

And it’s not even Halloween yet.

The article was about a new “personhood” amendment that according to polls is actually in danger of passing in the state of Colorado.

Luckily, I don’t live in Colorado but as a woman this offends me deeply. As a loss mom, I’m horrified. As a woman suffering from Infertility, I’m incredibly saddened by this amendment and how close it is to passing.

Take a minute, read up and if you feel so inclined, contribute to help women in Colorado fight against this amendment.

Please share, reblog or spread the word in whatever manner you see fit.

Four Years

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Four years ago today, I married the love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend. I’m sure some of you are rolling your eyes at that last sentence but I can assure you it’s true.

Let me put it this way. The last year and half of our married lives have been the absolute worst for us personally. We’ve been through hell together. I’ve watched couples going through a similar experience fall apart and give up on each other.

My husband and I are stronger than ever. Our marriage never wavered. Not for an instant.

So to my husband, thank you. For knowing I was the one for you from the moment you set eyes on me. For never letting time and life get in the way of your pursuit of me. For being patient while I came around to realizing how much I loved you. For proposing to me. For agreeing to marry me on 10.10.10, because you knew I wouldn’t be able to remember our anniversary otherwise. For being the most amazing father in the world. For being my rock when I needed something solid to lean on. For helping put me back together when I was falling apart. For standing by me and fighting back against everything life has decided to throw at us. For being you.

I love you.

Bang Head Here

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As you can tell by the image, I’m incredibly frustrated that things in my life seem to never go as planned recently.

After my failed FET, I had an oddly light period. So I had a feeling today’s baseline wouldn’t go well. My lining was too thick at 7.1 for being CD5. So I had to remove the patches I had started on CD2. Right now the plan is to hope I have more bleeding between now and Sunday. I’m instructed to restart patches on Sunday morning (CD8) and return for another baseline on Tuesday. If my lining is still too thick, then we’ll probably have to repeat the SIS to make sure there isn’t a polyp or something else wrecking havoc in my uterus.

So now, if my lining cooperates, my FET won’t be until late in the first week of November, which means that my IVF with PGS will be pushed back until late December/early January since I will be away for 4 days in early December, a trip I’m NOT rescheduling. I’ve put my life on hold for over a year already due to this infertility nonsense. I’m not letting it delay this special trip: a visit to Disneyworld for my son’s 3rd Birthday.

Anyway, it might be nice to take a month break between treatments and give my hormones’ a chance to return to normal.

Rainbow Roses

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Text on card in case it’s difficult to read: “Just a reminder from us to you, to keep the hope because we sure aren’t giving up hope on our side for your rainbow baby(ies)!! We’re all here for you :)”

Let me tell you a story.

Almost two years ago, back in January 2013, my husband and I had decided it was time to start trying for baby #2 (Zeke). I went on BabyCenter for the first time in a long time, and created a query on the “Getting Pregnant” board, looking for some cycle buddies to share this journey with.

What I didn’t realize, was that this simple question, would result in a lasting friendship with some absolutely amazing women. These four women, Tracy, Melissa, Tasha, and Crystal, have been an indispensable emotional support system for me. They’ve become real friends, even though I have yet to meet them in person (something we need to rectify soon!). I know I’m a better person for knowing them and for having them in my corner, rooting tirelessly for me to get my Rainbow.

Ladies, I don’t say it enough, but thank you for the incredible amount of support you give me, for having hope for me when I feel all is lost, and for helping me get back on my feet when I feel like I can’t get up again.

You guys absolutely rock! <3

 

Let’s get this show on the road

AF kindly showed her face yesterday, a full 24hrs before I expected her. So we’re officially on our way to FET #2. I start my patches tonight and then go in for my baseline u/s and bw on Thursday.

Uterus, please, please, please cooperate!

Last cycle, from AF to AF, was a full 39 days. I would really like for this particular cycle to be a whole lot shorter, especially since then I move on to another round of IVF with PGS.

I took the opportunity to ask my RE about getting a tattoo but she’s suggested I wait since the area I would get the tattoo is a little too close to where I receive all my injections. So I guess I have a lot of time to brainstorm ideas. I may even get some custom temporary tattoos printed out so that I can really pick a design I’m happy with.

My WTF Conversation with my RE

I should start by saying that my RE and I have had a tumultuous relationship at best, in large part due to the fact that she didn’t take me seriously as an IF patient. From her point-of-view, I am a 28 year old patient who had gotten pregnant twice (quickly). I don’t think she genuinely believed I had any actual issues and that getting me pregnant would be easy.

Today, I finally heard her whole tone of voice change with me. She was finally talking to me like a woman actually suffering from IF. I’m disappointed it took this long for her to take me seriously, but better late than never right?

The first thing she said to me on the phone was that she spent over an hour this morning looking through my now extremely thick file. Looking for any conceivable test we might need to run on my uterus. Unfortunately, we’ve run them all at this point, SIS, endometrial biopsy, HSG… And everything has always looked absolutely perfect. So aside from an exploratory lap surgery (which she feels is unnecessary at this point in time), there are no additional tests she can run.

There are two things she believes we should do now:
1. Verify that my dosage of lovenox is the correct one. It can often correct implantation issues, so she is getting in touch with my Hematologist to verify I am on the correct dosage.

2. Pursue IVF with PGS to make sure we are not dealing with chromosomally abnormal embryos.

So here’s the plan for the next few months:
October: FET#2 with my final two snow-babies. No changes to the protocol aside from the possibly higher dose of lovenox.
November/December: IVF with PGS and endometrial scratch (no transfers)
December/January: FET of PGS-tested chromosomally normal embryos.

I’m feeling very calm about all of this. My husband even commented that I’m handling all of this remarkably well and I think the reason is that I’ve finally accepted that getting pregnant is absolutely out of my control and it will happen when it does, when it’s right. It’s a very freeing feeling to accept the loss of control. Besides, a part of me is convinced I’m meant to have twins and until the conditions are perfect for twins I won’t get pregnant. Silly, I know.